RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
