Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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