I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
