that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize