I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This toilet bowl is my home.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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