I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
