Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
