i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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