yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
