he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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