Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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