I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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