Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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