Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
