Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
