If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
