These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I FOUND THE LEGS
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
