She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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