so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I miss vodka workout Fridays
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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