I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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