there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
