With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
