A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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