you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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