Please, let me fuck your mom
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
