I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she pinky promised me she was 18
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
