I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
