Pappa wants mamma naked
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
