that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
