Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
