Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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