the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i dont even know how to be here
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
