Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
