Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The power of my boobs compel you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
