your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
