Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
