I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
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Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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