It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize