And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
