I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
