i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
