By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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