I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
