Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
