Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
