You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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