I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
