the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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