ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize