I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
