If that was your dad, he is hot
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize