I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
that's an acceptable place to lick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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