you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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