that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
