were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
