worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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