we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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