Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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