Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
