so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
