oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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