So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
