Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Floor bacon is actually really good
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
