This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
