Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
