I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
