you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize