you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
