come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
