If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
