obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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