two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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