Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
